


You’ll Tell me, Right?

by running_downn



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Empath, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Podcast, Self Harm, Spoilers, The Bright Sessions - Freeform, adam smokes weed, cause that’s a hc I love, cause they’re cute, empathy high, high, past self harm, they’re in love leave me alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-18 11:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21760291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/running_downn/pseuds/running_downn
Summary: The world around him shifted, time having slowed to a stop as he lay on his bed staring at his phone. His thumb hovered over Caleb’s contact name, “Meathead” shining on the screen in the dark of his room. Adam took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he let the high sink in even more. He just wanted to disappear, to forget about his depression and his stupid urges he thought would be gone by now.Aka Adam gets really high and remembers his promise to tell Caleb when things got bad. Also my HC that Adam is a lowkey stoner leave me alone
Relationships: Adam Hayes/Caleb Michaels
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74





	You’ll Tell me, Right?

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR TBS SAFE HOUSE EPISODES
> 
> Warnings for substance abuse (?), past self harm and depression. 
> 
> I know a single other person in this fandom so I doubt many people will read this, but if you know me from my other fics or just found me, hi! This is a really good fiction podcast on spotify that has claimed the top of my list as my favourite podcast. I could go on and on about how good it is and how much I hope you listen to it if you haven’t but then I’d never shut up. Anyways thanks for choosing to read this, I’ll explain some things at the end so I’ll see you there. Enjoy :)

_“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”_

_“Which part?”_

_“Any of it, all of it. I thought we said no more secrets.”_

_“I didn’t want you to hate me… be, afraid of me. Or afraid for me, or look at me in disgust. I didn’t want it to change the way you thought about me.”_

_“I would never-“_

_“I know you won’t. Cause, I don’t think any less of you, for what you did. I think I, understand a little. The need to… to hurt.”_

_“Adam it’s not the same.”_

_“I, no I know that I know. But feeling that helplessness it can drive you to do stuff. And I, and I know I’m not the empath here, but I think I get how you’re feeling right now. I know, what it’s like, to really hate yourself… but, it’s not all you are. It’s not all I am either, it doesn’t have to define us I, I love you, no matter what. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere you can trust me.”_

_“Yeah, of course I trust you. Always.”_

_“...good, that’s good.”_

_“Adam, you’ll tell me if, if it gets that bad again, right? I, I don’t want you to deal with that alone. I mean I, I’d like to think that I’d know but, you’ll just, you’ll just tell me right?_

_“...yeah, Caleb I’ll tell you.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_______________________________________

Adam wasn’t one to resort to substances when his depression got really bad. He knew how stressful it got for Caleb when his dad drank during a bad writers block, or how going to parties was getting increasingly frustrating from the empathy drunk or high. Of course things had been better since dating Caleb, much better actually. Sure it didn’t cure his depression but Adam simply found another reason to smile.

But depression doesn’t just go away, the urges don’t just go away. Caleb hadn’t known about them before recently, not before the incident at the safe house… It had only been a month since then, and Caleb was on edge all the time. Adam wasn’t an empath like his boyfriend but he could still tell when something was wrong. He had promised Caleb he would tell him if he ever felt like hurting himself, if it ever got that bad again. But the little voice in the back of his head told him to hold it in until Caleb felt better, to stop being so selfish because his boyfriend had more than likely traumatized himself with what happened. What he did.

It wasn’t fair to him.

But he promised. And he knew Caleb would only feel worse if he found another scar on Adams skin knowing he could have helped prevent it. Because Adam promised.

The world around him shifted, time having slowed to a stop as he lay on his bed staring at his phone. His thumb hovered over Caleb’s contact name, “Meathead” shining on the screen in the dark of his room. Adam took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he let the high sink in even more. He just wanted to disappear, to forget about his depression and his stupid urges he thought would be gone by now.

Therapy helped. He wasn’t lying about that. But as his brain continued to drift he forgot about the exercises he’d learned in order to calm and distract himself. Adam forgot about too much it had seemed and the only thing he could remember was his boyfriends voice shattering when Adam told him what he used to do. He was still terrified of it going wrong again, of going too far, of his parents finding out. God, what if they thought it was Caleb’s doing? They could pretend they knew Caleb would never hurt their son all they wanted, but the thought lingered in the back of their heads. Even Adam could feel that.

Adam opened his eyes, confused as to why his room and phone screen had gotten so blurry until he felt a tear stream down his face. Pathetic. A soft sound rung throughout his room, playing in his head and in his ears, unfamiliar to him until the second he realized what it was.

“Adam?” His thumb must have slipped. Fuck. “It’s like, two in the morning, are you okay?”

Lie to him, he can’t feel you over the phone. He doesn’t need to know. Adam tried to get out a solid sentence but he must have smoked way more than he meant to because his voice wouldn’t come out. Instead, all that escaped his throat was a broken sob and shuddering breath.

“Adam what’s wrong, what happened, are you alright?”

“Fine,” he sputtered out.

Caleb sighed, worry lacing the sound. “I know when you’re lying, especially if you say it like that. I don’t need to be an empath to know when my boyfriend’s upset.” Well shit, there’s no getting around that.

With that acceptance, Adam suddenly lost control of his words and allowed them to spill from his lips. “Can you, c’mover? I miss you.” His voice was foreign, words slowing and slurring as he attempted to speak coherently.

“Are you sure that’s all, you sound- Adam are you drunk?” Disappointment, worry, even Adam could process that in Caleb’s voice.

“Nah, nah jus’ really high dude.” He giggled, calling his boyfriend “dude” was oddly funny to him. He almost forgot how much he was crying. “You told me, to tell you, an’ promise when it got bad again remember?”

“When what gets… oh, oh shit Adam why didn’t you call me earlier? Fuck okay, I’m coming over.” Caleb’s voice had begun to panic, to break and it threw Adam back to that night at the safe house. Sitting on the ground with bloody hands and a broken finger, tears staining his boyfriend’s face and looking wrong because they never belonged there.

“It’s not like I’m dying,” Adam chuckled lightly, sniffing and wiping his eyes clumsily. “‘M sorry babe it’s, it’s fine-“

“No, no, I’m coming over just, just wait for me okay? Stay on the phone.”

“Caleb-“

“Stay on the phone. Please.” How could Adam say no to that?

“...okay.” The sound of rustling, footsteps and doors opening echoed through the phone. Then the sound of a car starting. “Caleb? What are you, what are you doing?”

“It takes too long to walk so I’m driving,” Caleb’s voice shook as he took a deep breath. “I’ll be fine Adam, okay, the only emotions I’m dealing with right now are mine so I won’t be overwhelmed or like, freak out.”

Adam wanted to argue but time was already taking too long to pass and as selfish as he felt this was, he just wanted to see the boy he loved. More than anything. “I’m sorry.” Well that wasn’t supposed to come out.

“Don’t apologize, just, I’ll be there soon okay?”

“Mkay.”

The two sat in silence as Adam felt the tears dry on his face and he pressed the phone against his cheek. What was he doing? When had this even happened when had he called Caleb, when did he get this high?

It took an eternity but Caleb finally spoke up on the phone. “Okay I’m here, uh, can you come let me in? Back door?”

The thought of getting up was exhausting but he knew he had to. If it meant wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, sinking into the feeling and just touching him, he could do it. Adam forced himself out of his bed, stumbling over a few steps as he carefully went down the stairs and made his way to the back door. He was definitely being too loud but he didn’t care. His parents were heavy sleepers. Heavy enough at least.

Adam managed to reach the back door and open it as quietly as he could before finally seeing Caleb standing in front of him. Before he could open his mouth to apologize again he was pulled into the others arms, a tight embrace he never wanted to end.

“Holy fuck you’re really out of it arent you,” Caleb gasped, letting out a quick laugh as he attempted to shove down the empathy high.

“‘M sorry,” Adam mumbled into the others shirt before taking in a deep breath and smiling at the scent of Caleb’s cologne. He wore it every day after Adam complimented the smell, his letterman jacket now stained with it. Not that Adam was complaining.

“Stop apologizing, let’s just get to your room before I get too high to walk up the stairs,” Caleb smiled. Adam grunted in agreement as the two slowly but surely made their way back upstairs and to Adams room. The taller was practically carrying Adam by the time they got there, setting him down gently on the bed and closing the door behind them. “Okay, um, wow it’s hitting pretty hard,” Caleb giggled, but frowned within a matter of seconds. “Don’t feel guilty, it’s fine. Weird, but nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

“I know, I know I just couldn’t help it… I needed to like, I don't know, make the thoughts go away.”

Caleb sat on the bed beside him, turning to face the other as the high continued to set in. Adam really did smoke more than he could remember and the pang of guilt struck his chest. “Adam. It’s fine.”

“I’m still sorry,” Adam nearly whined, “I should’ve just called you. I know how much you hate it when you get all empathy drunk cause of your dad.”

“This is different,” Caleb rolled his eyes. “You’re my boyfriend, I want to help you, even if I do get a little fucked up.”

“Thas not fair…”

“I can feel you feeling guiltier every second babe, I promise it’s okay. Okay no I’m not mad at you stop, Adam it’s fine.” Adam knew his emotions were just getting worse, more of a storm than Caleb was used to. Usually if he was upset it was just that. But now they couldn’t stop, like every new thought was a different emotion. “You’re okay,” Caleb sighed, pulling his boyfriend back into another hug, this one more gentle and careful than the last.

Adam held back tears that began to form. “Am I?”

“Yes,” Caleb rubbed circles on the others back. “You are, and I’m here, and you’re okay.” The smaller suddenly felt just that as he clung to Caleb’s jacket.

“I just, it got so bad Caleb I felt so fuckin’ bad I didn’t know what to do,” Adam choked out. “I felt so numb and shitty I jus’ wanted to feel something yknow?”

“I…” Caleb’s voice was much more fragile now. “I can feel it… I can feel how you did and, God Adam, I’m so sorry. Oh my god I’m so sorry. I’m not mad but you need to call me right away next time I-“

Silence filled the air.

“Hm?”

“I don't know what I’d do with myself if you got hurt, Adam. I don't know how to handle myself knowing you ever did. You don’t deserve that-“

“Don’t I?” Adam snapped, but it wasn’t the “angry at Caleb” feeling he knew his boyfriend could identify. It was anger at himself. “Don't I deserve to hurt sometimes, to feel something when my brain won’t let me, to just do something?”

“No! You don’t, Adam, and you never did!” Caleb’s voice broke. “How could you ever think…”

“I’m sorry-“

“Please stop saying that,” the taller muttered and pulled away, holding Adams face between his hands. “You don’t need to be sorry you just, need to tell me. And I’m glad you called me, stop feeling like you did something wrong, you feel so guilty and you just, shouldn’t, ugh this is making it so hard to talk.” Adam chuckled lightly. “Don’t apologize. I know you were going to I can feel when you feel apologetic.”

“Is that even an emotion?” Adam laughed.

Caleb mirrored the action, a string of giggles escaping his lips. “I don’t think so. Then again I didn’t know a lot of things were emotions or at least things I could feel. Like when you feel flirty and flustered-“

“Ugh, Caleb, that’s so embarrassing!”

“I’m not the one feeling it!”

“But you-

“I realized that as soon as I said it.” The two fell into an array of laughter, the butterflies in Adams stomach flooding Caleb's chest as they finally stopped wheezing over the banter that really wasn’t even that funny. Neither noticed when they had laid down, both turned to face each other and their noses barely touched. “You have a pretty smile, like, you’re so pretty,” Caleb said softly, causing Adam to blush more than he ever cared to admit. “And you’re cute when you blush- oh so you like it when I compliment you?”

“Stoooop,” Adam groaned as he tried to hide his face with his hands. Caleb simply pulled them away, holding onto them with a gentle smile.

They laid in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Caleb finally spoke up. “Do you wanna talk about it, the bad stuff?”

Adam shook his head, refusing to break eye contact with the other. “Mm, not now. Not while we’re both like this,” he sighed.

“Yeah you’re right, this is a ‘not high, don’t talk about until sober’ conversation. But we are having it, tomorrow. Later.” Adam nodded in response, all of a sudden much too aware of how close they really were. He was way too attuned to every little bit of contact the two had, and his face grew hotter by the second.

“Why are you so nervous?” Caleb whispered. “I feel like someone’s, like my chest is tight and my stomach is nauseous. Not a bad nauseous. Like, fuck how did Doctor Bright- oh. Oh,” he smirked in an attempt to hide his own face flushed with the same feeling.

“Caleb?”

“Mhm?”

“Can I, well can I um-

“Yes you can.”

Kissing your boyfriend while high is enough to drive a guy crazy. Now, being an empath while kissing your boyfriend who is extremely high is simply unexplainable. The colours that Caleb usually saw were simple and there were few if not just one for each person with each emotion. This however was a swarm of colours that filled his mind and flourished in his chest. There were deep reds, flowing purples, oranges and whites and every other colour imaginable. But the yellows and blues? Those were the ones that clutched his heart and nearly coated Caleb's vision. They mixed and danced together, a bright, beautiful green emerging from the mix. Caleb could only smile into the kiss and press harder. Adam must have felt the tension as Caleb could just feel his stomach churning and heart racing.

“Love you,” Adam breathed, not wanting to break the kiss, “so much, Caleb.”

Caleb felt a smile against his lips. “I love you too Adam, more than you’ll ever know.” His hands reached up to grip the hair at the nape of his boyfriend's neck, a gasp slipping from Adams throat as he let out a breath filled chuckle.

“As much,” he whispered between constant kisses, “as I’d like to do this right now, I’d rather be completely sober so I can remember it in the morning.”

“I don’t think we’re that high,” Caleb smirked. “But fine, if you insist.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Adams mouth, then his nose, cheeks, eyelids when they slipped shut, forehead, and one last one planted right on his lips. “I mean it you know, I love you so fucking much. I just wish you could feel it.”

“Hm, who’s to say I don’t?”

“Oh you know what I mean. Dork.”

“Meathead.”

Silence coated the room once again as one of Adams arms draped over Caleb, his head resting on the other’s chest. With Adam asleep, Caleb’s empathy high dimmed ever so slightly, giving him enough energy to run his hands through Adam’s hair and kiss his forehead one last time before closing his eyes. The colours had calmed down, now a peaceful green settling in his chest as he drifted asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the end I’m surprised you made it. Well not really, this is by far the shortest one shot I’ve ever written. Followers of my other fic will know that my laptops hard drive completely fried and I don’t have any computer access and won’t for a while. I’m writing this on my phone and my thumbs can really only take so much. I haven’t written anything in way too long and while my other fic is gonna be on hiatus, I’ll post occasional one shots when I can for other fandoms because not being able to write is literally driving me insane.  
> I needed to vent and this is what happened so I hope it was okay, thanks again for reading and I hope y’all have a nice day.  
> 


End file.
